Wallace Matthews Shows He’s A Flaming Idiot (Once Again)

Lol, I go to ESPNNewYork and find Wallace ‘Newsday Didn’t Want Me Anymore” Matthews trying to start a fire where there isn’t one:

Considering how quickly Yankees fans tend to panic, Hiroki Kuroda’s first outing in pinstripes might have them out on the ledge.

Kuroda had an easy first inning, striking out his first batter, Reid Brignac, on three pitches, and getting a soft 1-2-3 inning. But things went bad in the second — a leadoff single by Matt Joyce, an infield hit by Jeff Keppinger with the runner going and Derek Jeter moving to cover second, and a two-run triple smoked into the right-field corner by Stephen Vogt, who later scored on a groundout.

The line: 2IP, 3H, 3ER, 2Ks, 27 pitches, 20 strikes and one collective heart attack in New York.

I mean, Wally is pretty much regarded by most people as a sour drunk who couldn’t write his own name down properly 98% of the time, but even by his standard this is just downright hilarious. This waste of time/ink/pixels/use of our brain cells more than nullifies the one time this decade I found myself agreeing with this assclown.

  • Two innings pitched.
  • Twenty strikes out of twenty seven pitches thrown.
  • His velocity was right where it should be.
  • Two strikeouts while walking none.
  • One hard hit extra-bagger, one modestly hit single that wasn’t crushed and one tapper that rolled through a hole left open because runners were on the move.
  • And zero (count ’em Wally, ZERO) heart attacks.

Yeah, Wally, Yankees fans are really losing their collective minds as we speak.


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